Friday, 4 September 2009

Jokes

Astonomer #1: .....so anyway the cop pulls me over and asks if I realizedthat I had just run a redlight. So I said that I did not see the light asbeing red, because it must have blue-shifted as i was approaching it.
Astronomer #2: And he let you go?
Astronomer #1: No. He gave me a speeding ticket intead
Q: How does Einstein begin a story?
A: Once upon a space-time......
Q: Why should followers of special theory of relativity not be takenseriously?
A: They fail to see the gravity of the situation.
I happen to know something that is faster than light!! :)Darkness.
Try this: lock yourself inside a darkened room. Then, slowly, open thedoor. You can surely see the light coming in, but you can´t see thedarkness going out. That´s how fast it is!!!(This is an amazing result, since darkness is known to be heavier thanlight: just ask any diver -- they will tell you that the deeper you go, thedarker it gets. Darkness sinks, while light floats).
That theory is technically incorrect, the dark is not actually leaving theroom. Instead it is being compressed into an infinitely small space in thecorner of the room. This also explains why the sun heats up the earth sowell; all the dark in the world is being compressed into a singularity,this process creates an immese amount of heat, especially on the equatorwhere the direct sun rays cause the greatest compression.
A: As we approach the speed of light, the aging process slows down. So, ifthe speed of light were sixty miles per hour, we would have even morepeople speeding, especially older people trying to stay young. As a matterof fact, physics would demand that we go faster than the speed oflight. The safest thing is to drive at a steady sixty to keep time and thehighway patrol off our necks. Airplanes would become obsolete in this slowlight world, because you would be going so fast, relatively speaking, thatyou'd be back before you even left. This would make business tripsunnecessary and lead to economic collapse. So, to answer your question,life, if the speed of light were sixty miles per hour, would be youthful,fast, and dark

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